how true is it that we can't help who we fall in love with??

Dear Diary,

I'm not in love o- at least not with the subject that has brought up this topic- i'll tell you why i am pondering on this question tonight.. bunch of friends and i go out on the night about 2 weeks ago- I had left my darlyn Studmuffin to go off with his friends while i also did the girl thing ( one other good thing about having SOMEONE like him- no one keeps tabs)..you know- if i had a boyfy, i would mind who i talked to, be careful when a guy i am casually chatting with brings out his phone to 'maybe' respond to a text message in case word gets back to my man that i gave a guy my number. With Studmuffin and I- we tell each other everything and what we don't tell- clearly doesn't matter enough- simple and straightforward!!

anyway, i digress- back to the outing 2 weeks ago- so there's about 4 of us- all connected by this one mutual friend and somehow we have become a clique( i hate girl cliques and wait you'll soon find out the sort of things that occur that make me hate these cliques).. a couple of guys i had never seen before ( RARE stuff) came into the bar we were hanging out at, some new place on the Island. they came straight to our table to say hello to us- clearly Miss Mutual Friend of all (MF) and one of her friends- my new friend (NF)knew 2 of the guys- so after a while, the music starts to play we all loosen up and everyone starts to dance etc.. one of the guys came up to me and i had kinda sized him up- u know the usual 'scan for a wedding band, look @ his shoes, and full regalia and had thought, OK- not bad- and I guess he must have done the same thing!!
Sooooo, we dance, chat,and exchange phone numbers and dance more!! then we girls decide we're off home!! on the way home and till i got home- he called a couple of times- just to make sure we got home ok. so, we all ended up in my place.. in the morning, as we girls do- i thought i better find as much as i can from MF... so i casually mentioned that New Bobo (NB) had called me to check we got home ok last night- she in turn says- why is he calling you? and i am thinking, pardon??? so i say pardon, how do you mean?? so she says- he's NF ( remember from last night?) my new friend and fellow clique partner's ex boyfy and she goes on to say- she dated him before her present guy ( she is happily in a relationship now).. so i said, oh, i had no idea and she says- well, now you do!!!!in a 'and that means stay the F*%k away from him before you get into NF's trouble sorta tone!!

my question is- if i really liked the guy- which i don't- I think I have even been quite rude- in the sense that, after that conversation with MF- he tried calling me several times and I didn't pick up and now he's stopped.. but what if he is the ONE?? do i really forgo a chance of happiness becos he dated her???? don't get me wrong,i have no feelings for him after 2 mins of dancing but i just found the 'warning off' quite intense!! would it really be a sin to even consider dating him?? they are over and she's moved on! I know I wouldn't mind if i were in her shoes- as long as it's not my ever faithful StudMuffin.. ;-)

so here's the question again- is it true we can't help who we fall in love with or do we just need to steer our loving feelings towards people who have never dated our friends no matter how distant these friends are??? or towards people that 'society think is acceptable?? like i know its a touchy issue and very controversial too but i don't judge ALL women who are in relationships with married men- i have a close friend who is in LOVE with hers and i can't judge her for being with someone who brings so much joy (and its not financial) to her life..she'd previously been with guys who just felt the need to physically abuse her- and she is as gorgeous as the word sounds but had NO self esteem (it had been battered out of her) until she met this guy..hmmm, i digress again. that's another story for another day and not even mine to tell( at least not without asking)..

I'll type again tmw dear diary.. for now my fingers need to dial a very special 11 digit number ;-)