HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

Dear Diary,


Just dropped in to say Happy Valentine's Day!!!!

I'm so happy and excited today, i think the idea of love really tickles me!!
Good thing i decided not to go to work today :-)



PLS SEE PART 2 BELOW- for all you guys that have been waiting for it!!!

xxxxxxxxxxx

Some things I will never forget.... part 2

Dear Diary,

Was I in shock?? i think i just froze, he saw me and sort of shrunk into his car seat and i just kept turned back ahead and continued walking- my family friend understood immediately and held my hand and i guess he was a coward because he never drove past us- there was no other way out as he lived on a closed road so i guess they either went back to shag some more or they parked there and waited till i left- my family friend says it was fear and respect that made him do that- i thought he was just stupid in the head and other places!!!
So, i went back to school immediately that evening- i had seen enough and i didn't want him to come round to mine that evening- my older sis found out what happened cos my family friend told her and she asked if she could tell our folks- i said no cos i didn't want him banned irrevocably from the house!! As soon as i got back to school- i went to my friend's hall of residence and walked into their room- i was about to open my mouth to report her roommate but the shocked looks on their faces when i came in( she wasn't there yet), made me realise 2 things- a) they ALL knew she was shagging him b) they knew before she went and had heard that i saw her, so i left SPEECHLESS!! My friend ran after me and told me that she didn't know how to tell me that her roommate had been shadowing my man and sneaking around.. my only question was- why had she come to me with the story of her mom coming to town???? anyway, all this time- he'd been calling and i ignored his calls, emails and voicemail messages apologising, i just didn't want to hear anything- then he shows up at my school and practically gets the whole school to beg me- he had cousins etc there..i just said i needed some space. I just wanted to party and play like all my school friends. so that i did for about 3 weeks- he dared not criticise and it became so clear that many guys had been waiting to take me on dates etc and i did go on a few first dates and nothing more and finally he went and got my mom to beg me- he didn't tell her what he did and i didn't as well- i always thought we were going to get married and didn't want to spoil his reputation with my folks.. so we continued our relationship. as for the girl- she avoided me BIG TIME, for about a month and then the only day she said hello to me- i simply said- 'bitch, don't you ever say hello to me again- you don't exist to me and i don't exist to you- when you see me- please walk past cos i can't see you!! 'but that was it- there was NO CONFRONTATION-PLUS she was such a slapper anyway- she was known to just sleep around- so i got my man to go to the clinic to get tested for any diseases and did same myself and once we were clear- I pretended it was all ok. I never did FORGIVE either of them NOR did i forget. but at least it gave me some freedom to do what i liked- party like my friends and mates even though i didn't do anyhing untoward- i just lived a little..

Anyway, phase 2

my OVER POSSESSIVE boyfy soon conveniently forgot his indiscretion and carried on monitoring my every move and after a while things got back to how they used to be- I went back to being the obedient girlfy and as he was my very first boyfy- i had no intention of ever being with any one else and everyone in his family already thought we were married and were just waiting for the formalisation. However, i noticed that anytime that i went back to London for the weekend- he wouldn't want to go clubbing and all- claiming that he didn't really like clubbing- so we would go to the nearest local or just go for dinner and then the cinema or just snuggle in bed watching tv all weekend. On a certain Valentine's day- we went to dinner on a double date with his close friend and girlfriend and the friend's girlfriend let it slip that she felt he was a very good dancer based on her observation all the times they'd gone clubbing- trust me- DRAMA QUEEN- I turned the dinner upside down- i erupted and asked him why he always lied and made me feel he never went out and insisted we went to the west end that night- fool!!!!

Anyway,that was a slight digression....... one lovely sunday- my flat mate's man had been around for the weekend and asked if we wanted to come into london for a BBQ that evening- so excitedly we got dressed and hopped in the car, the plan was that we would stay at his flat in the west end-now my boyfy had also moved to a flat in the west end with his best mate and i felt it would be good for him to know i was coming to town- on the way, i called my man's phone- and remembered he'd said it wasn't working properly- so i called his best friend and flat mate- i said i was coming to london for the day and wanted to tell F****- his friend said oh- didn't he tell you- he is going out of town today for work- so i replied that i wasnt coming to see him- i just wanted to let him know!!!
so, all the way to london, i was sayin to my friend and her man that i wanted tostop by at my man's to drop a note nd won't it be odd if i caught him with a girl (INSTINCT) so, we get to london and i decided to stop by at their flat to leave a note with the address, cos the friend's phone was off. when I got there, their neighbour was just coming out, so i hopped in before the door closed and didn't need to be buzzed in. I knew that they didn't like to lock their front door cos it always seemed jammed- so i just wanted to try it- trust me- till today,i don't know why i did. the front door wasn't closed- i went in and as i walked past his friend's room- i heard HIS laughter- i paused and knocked cos they locked individual doors- he opened the door in boxers and with a hard on...

.....hugged me and led me to HIS own room- on the way there- i remembered that his bed had been broken the last time i visited and i guess he didnt want to shag on a broken bed- in his own bed- now on the floor- was his best friend whom i had spoken to- sleeping.... he woke up and they both looked confused - intheir confusion- i strolled out and back into the other room- and saw a girl under a duvet- she even looked older than me- i PEELED off the duvet and she was stark naked- i introduced myself- she knew of me and i asked for her name- she told me- i think she thoughti was going to beat her or something. then i heard a gasp and turned round and he was there and said- it's not what it looks like- i looked at her and said- oh, honey, i think it definitely is!!!!

i walked out- he followed begging, when i got back to the car- i said- oh, i was right you know- my friend and her man were in shock- he told my friend's man to beg for him and that one said- I CAN'T o.. we left and he stalked me till i went back to school the next day and came to Brighton for the whole week! I told him i forgave him but my heart couldn't and after a month of just being so irritated.. I broke up with him!!!

sorry for extra long post- but there it is- the first in 'the things I will never forget series'

Have a Lovely Weekend Everyone!!

Somethings I will never forget...

Dear Diary,

I've been quiet in the last couple of days as i have been doing some severe soul searching and also taken several trips down memory lane!! I realise that I am immensely scared of losing control and letting myself go fully in relationships, you know, everything is seemingly clinical and I can close doors on people as easily as I opened them.. I think i may have been scarred by my first boyfriend- who was the most possessive control freak that ever existed.. he is the sort of guy who would time his wife if she goes to the salon for a 'wash and set' hai treatment... it probably didnt help that he was a straight 5 yrs older than me and as such wasn't in uni at the same time that i was.
When I got into uni- at the age of 17, he was 21 and had just got a job in the city and my school was just on the outskirts of london- Brighton to be precise- so it was easy for us both to go back and forth weekend after weekend, the fact that we lived 2 streets apart didn't help!!
But Possessive Guy- just didn't let me rest on week days when I was in school- he always people watching me- when i called him daily- i'd hear things like 'who was the guy you sat with during the break in your classes- he was wearing a blue shirt or isn't your top showing too much cleavage today??it was so bizarre but i was so stupid- i simply thought this obsessive behavior was a thing to relish and be proud of- that someone loved me sooooo much that they would spy on me and wish they could move me to a school in london where it would be just the teachers and i (yes, he said this)!! boy, i think i needed my head examined!!

anyway, i was soon brought back to earth in the 3rd year of our relationship- 2 things happened about 8 months apart that opened my eyes one after the other- trust me- one eye opened but the other one didnt open until the second incident happened.
Incident 1- it so happened that on a certain weekend, some girl who was my friend's room mate whom i had become a bit chummy with comes up to me and says- IG, r u going into London this weekend? I say- No, why? she says, i just want to know if you wanted me to take anything to yours for you- and basically tells me how her Mom was in the UK for a week or so but that she only had that weekend to see her and hopefully do some small shopping etc with her Mom. Now, i did feel she was going into too much detail seeing as i wasn't dating her nor would i have noticed she was gone anyway but i took it in good faith and said- oh well, have fun and bring some plantain chips or chin chin back if your mom brings any. so she goes off....
Anyhow, somehow- my Mom calls later and says a family friend of mine was in the UK and wanted to see and so i hopped off and went home too. So my family friend and i bond and gist etc and after a few hours she asked after my boyfriend- so i'm like -'u know what, we can walk to his- and off we went. i didn't bother calling cos i wanted to SURPRISE him. So we are approaching his house and see his cousin walking up and he says- 'are you going to our house?' i say yes and he says- oh your man just went out- he and Popsie are out on an errand- so i said ok cool, we'll just walk past and stuff- we were enjoying the walk anyway and tell him I'll call him later.. so we continued walking we walked past the house and his car was parked out there but i paid it no mind.
On our way back- we walked past the house and i thought i heard the door open but i didn't look back- and then i heard car start and i looked back- driving out was MY MAN and THE BITCH who was meant to bring me back some plantain chips... yeah- my man was her mum for the weekend!!

tired of typing and even angry as i remember- i'll save the rest for my next post!
my reaction- the ripple of events after and the 2nd EYE OPENER!!!