Somethings I will never forget...

Dear Diary,

I've been quiet in the last couple of days as i have been doing some severe soul searching and also taken several trips down memory lane!! I realise that I am immensely scared of losing control and letting myself go fully in relationships, you know, everything is seemingly clinical and I can close doors on people as easily as I opened them.. I think i may have been scarred by my first boyfriend- who was the most possessive control freak that ever existed.. he is the sort of guy who would time his wife if she goes to the salon for a 'wash and set' hai treatment... it probably didnt help that he was a straight 5 yrs older than me and as such wasn't in uni at the same time that i was.
When I got into uni- at the age of 17, he was 21 and had just got a job in the city and my school was just on the outskirts of london- Brighton to be precise- so it was easy for us both to go back and forth weekend after weekend, the fact that we lived 2 streets apart didn't help!!
But Possessive Guy- just didn't let me rest on week days when I was in school- he always people watching me- when i called him daily- i'd hear things like 'who was the guy you sat with during the break in your classes- he was wearing a blue shirt or isn't your top showing too much cleavage today??it was so bizarre but i was so stupid- i simply thought this obsessive behavior was a thing to relish and be proud of- that someone loved me sooooo much that they would spy on me and wish they could move me to a school in london where it would be just the teachers and i (yes, he said this)!! boy, i think i needed my head examined!!

anyway, i was soon brought back to earth in the 3rd year of our relationship- 2 things happened about 8 months apart that opened my eyes one after the other- trust me- one eye opened but the other one didnt open until the second incident happened.
Incident 1- it so happened that on a certain weekend, some girl who was my friend's room mate whom i had become a bit chummy with comes up to me and says- IG, r u going into London this weekend? I say- No, why? she says, i just want to know if you wanted me to take anything to yours for you- and basically tells me how her Mom was in the UK for a week or so but that she only had that weekend to see her and hopefully do some small shopping etc with her Mom. Now, i did feel she was going into too much detail seeing as i wasn't dating her nor would i have noticed she was gone anyway but i took it in good faith and said- oh well, have fun and bring some plantain chips or chin chin back if your mom brings any. so she goes off....
Anyhow, somehow- my Mom calls later and says a family friend of mine was in the UK and wanted to see and so i hopped off and went home too. So my family friend and i bond and gist etc and after a few hours she asked after my boyfriend- so i'm like -'u know what, we can walk to his- and off we went. i didn't bother calling cos i wanted to SURPRISE him. So we are approaching his house and see his cousin walking up and he says- 'are you going to our house?' i say yes and he says- oh your man just went out- he and Popsie are out on an errand- so i said ok cool, we'll just walk past and stuff- we were enjoying the walk anyway and tell him I'll call him later.. so we continued walking we walked past the house and his car was parked out there but i paid it no mind.
On our way back- we walked past the house and i thought i heard the door open but i didn't look back- and then i heard car start and i looked back- driving out was MY MAN and THE BITCH who was meant to bring me back some plantain chips... yeah- my man was her mum for the weekend!!

tired of typing and even angry as i remember- i'll save the rest for my next post!
my reaction- the ripple of events after and the 2nd EYE OPENER!!!